Lost
by Zandrel
Summary: One shot based on 'Looking Death in the Eye' regarding Ares' feelings over the loss of Xena.


**All Xena:Warrior Princess characters do not belong to me. This is for entertainment purposes only.**

**AN: Hello everybody! This story is for my friend and editor, Em. Thanks for helping me to write this. **

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**Lost**

**By Zandrel**

"Each to his own! You to yours and me to mine!" Xena shouts up to the three Gods before her, swinging her sword she goes to plunge it mercilessly into her stomach.

"No," Ares breathes, shaking his head, before wrenching the sword from her grasp and throwing it to the side.

He moves closer, placing his hands on her hips.

"No Xena," his face is desperate. "Don't."

Xena's hand comes up to rest on the opening of his vest, making Ares look even more scared and desperate.

_"I can't lose her. She's all I have. There must be some way I can save her!?"_

_"I should have known Ares would be here... I can't drink the tears in front of him, can I? He's never been like this with me but I suppose it would be fitting for me to die in his arms?"_

"Ares," she raises the little bottle with the tears in it, popping the lid off, her face asking for an understanding from him while still terribly twisted.

"You can't stop me this time," bitterness lacing through her words, drills into his heart. He looks at the bottle then looks down; his jaw is tense and his face sad.

He shakes his head, his mouth forming a thin line, "No."

_"His face is so desperate, but I have to do it to save Eve. I can't let my own feelings get in the way..."_

_"No, no, no! She can't drink poison, no."_

He squeezes her waist and she pushes him away.

"It's over, it's over," she looks up at Athena, Hades and Hephaestus. Desperately looking over her face, Ares knows what she plans to do and that she will do it, unpleasant understanding dawns on his visage.

She tips her head back, _"This is for the best. Eve can live,"_ and drinks the tears. _"It's over, over…"_

She staggers and feels Ares pull her close, a smile tugs at her lips that she refuses to show,_ "Ares, dying in his arms..." _

"Join your family. Tell them it's a package deal, they get me too," with that last line, she slowly fades away, eyes roll back inside her head before they close, letting out one last ragged breath.

Ares gently places her on the ground, mouthing 'no' like a traumatised man. His face reflects sadness, anger and betrayal.

_"If only she had let me help her. Now she's gone, dead, in my arms."_

Breathing hard, his face now showing raw heartache he picks up Gabrielle and takes her to the cave then comes back for his Love.

He picks Xena up and turns around to see Joxer, dazed and upset staring at them, before he disappears.

Without any enthusiasm, he trudges through the snow to the hole marking the entrance of the ice cave.

He walks through then to the coffin and places her in tenderly and needing to do one of the things he's always done, moves some loose hairs off her neck.

He stands with his hands on the edge of the icy box, using it to support himself.

Gazing at her with love and longing he starts to speak, "Your with her now. I handled you all wrong, I know that. She knew what you needed, unconditional and unselfish love and I couldn't give that to you..."

A look of regret passes over his face before he passionately continues, "But I appreciated you in ways she never could. Your rage, your violence, your beauty. When you sacrificed yourself, you were hers. But when you kicked ass, you were mine."

Tense, he leans down and captures her cold lips in his in a soft, genuine, loving kiss.

"I love you Xena."

Blinking back tears, he reaches for the lid of the coffin and slowly drags it over the body of his Princess.

Letting out a ragged breath, he takes a moment to compose himself, leaning into the lid he shuts his eyes, remembering her drinking the potion and dying, a pang of pain stabs at his heart like a dagger.

Finally, he walks over to an ice block where he pushes in her sword then rests her beloved Chakram on the hilt.

Staring at it for a moment, he remembers some of their memories together, when he gave her the Chakram and years later when she found the second one, combining it, combining 'them'.

Controlling his emotions, he gets up and walks out of the ice haven. He stops for a minute then raises his hands up to seal it forever.

Disappearing in his trademark blue light, before walking out, Ares had failed to hear the words licking the walls of the cave.

_'You'd be surprised the change you can inspire in a man, or God... I felt something...You were mine... I love you... I would sooner die in your arms than have to live without you in mine... Until next time, Xena...'_

It all ended with one thought from the Warrior Princess before her brain finally shut down.

_"I love you too..."_

FIN


End file.
